 |
||||||
|
||||||
|
 |
 |
|
Talking About Sibshops with Donald J. Meyer
From the June 2004 Disabilities newsletter.  Siblings of boys and girls with special needs have needs of their own—needs that are often overlooked. To help fill the emotional needs of these children and make them feel special, too, Donald J. Meyer, M.Ed., created Sibshops, a national recreational program that offers support for siblings of children with disabilities. Mr. Meyer recently appeared in a 20/20 (ABC News) segment that followed the sibling of a boy with autism to a sibshop. To further explain the program, its benefits, and the ways growing up with a sibling with a disability can change a child's life, Mr. Meyer had this to say:Question: How did you get involved with siblings of children with special needs and what inspired you to create Sibshops? Answer: My involvement with siblings and the development of the Sibshop model grew out of the work I did with dads of kids with special needs at the University of Washington. In 1978, as an early childhood special education graduate student, I helped start a program for fathers of kids with disabilities. This program, now called the Fathers Network, continues today under the leadership of James May in Bellevue, Washington. Our experience with the Fathers Network showed us that there were other traditionally underserved family members of children with special needs (specifically siblings and grandparents), and we created a program called SEFAM (pronounced See-Fam)—Supporting Extended Family Members. In addition to Sibshops and the Fathers Network, we also developed a peer support and education model for grandparents. The Sibshop model was developed at the University of Washington in the early 80s. Because Sibshops are designed for school-age children, I wanted to offer young sibs peer support within a lively, recreational context that emphasizes a kid's-eye-view. Sibshops are not therapy, although their effect may be therapeutic for some children. Sibshops acknowledge that most brothers and sisters of people with special needs, like their parents, are doing well, despite the challenges of an illness or disability. While we always keep an eye out for participants who may need additional services, Sibshops take a wellness approach. Q: What kind of techniques and activities do the programs use to get siblings to express their feelings—whether they be feelings of frustration, sadness, or pride—over having a sibling with special needs? A: Sibshops offer support in many guises and provide participants with opportunities to talk about a wide range of often ambivalent feelings. We have more formal support activities, such as Dear Aunt Blabby, where siblings answer bogus letters to a bogus advice columnist from bogus kids about real issues. Or Feelings on a Rope (not to be confused with Soap on a Rope) where two facilitators turn a rope into a human Likert scale and kids can weigh in topics such as "What do you think about going to the same school as your sib who has special needs?" However, we're huge believers in play and recreation and the power of play to bring kids together. Support is often offered during these times as well. Food activities are among the most rewarding Sibshop activities. When we make and eat food together, we're nourished, we express our creativity, and we derive enjoyment from eating the kid-friendly meal we've prepared together. As we cook and eat, we also laugh, tell bad jokes, learn about our likes and dislikes, and talk about our schools, friends, and families. The sharing and informal support that occurs during the breaking of bread should never be underestimated! Q: While children are in Sibshops, what can parents do to help their children do the things that Sibshops encourage, such as express their feelings, have fun, and learn more information about their brother and sister with special needs? A: The single most helpful thing parents can do is to educate themselves about typically developing brothers' and sisters' life-long and ever-changing concerns. Luckily, good sources of information are increasingly available, including:
Q: What opportunities might a sibling have to grow personally from his or her experience with a brother or sister with special needs?
To be sure, acknowledging siblings' many unique opportunities doesn't mean seeing the experience from a rose-colored "Pollyanna perspective." Many of siblings' opportunities are hard-earned—but they are opportunities nonetheless. |
|
